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  Carter stood up and walked into the living room, sitting down on the edge of an old, ratty leather sofa. Nick followed him more slowly. He glared at Carter for a moment before he sat down across from him.

  Carter cleared his throat. “This is stupid, Nick. I hope you’re not really angry. Surely you can see I didn’t intentionally do this. I admit I was dumb not to find out the rules before I insisted on playing, but it was an honest mistake. Really. I had no intention of cheating anyone.”

  “Okay,” Nick said softly. “Then pay up.”

  Carter made a sound of exasperation. He wondered if Nick was being purposely obtuse. “I’ve already told you I don’t have any money on me. You refused a check. How else I am supposed to pay up?”

  “Not my problem.” Nick said softly. “You figure it out.”

  Carter huffed. “What the hell do you expect me to do?”

  “Well, let me see. Maybe you can do something to work off your debt. Clean my apartment or wash my car for the next six months.”

  “Don’t be silly, Nick.”

  “Well, what else could you do for me? You could blow me, but I know you’re way too uptight for that. Probably wouldn’t be any good anyway. Although I would like to see those smartass lips of yours stretched around my cock. Hey, I have an idea. You can strip for me. I wouldn’t mind seeing you naked again. You know, since you grew up and all. I saw plenty when we were kids. You used to flaunt yourself at me all the time and dare me to do something about it.”

  “I did not.”

  “You know damn well you did. Rubbing yourself all over me, getting into bed and cuddling up next to me when you spent the night at my house. Too damn chicken-shit to admit you what you wanted. Try that shit now and see what happens.”

  “What the fuck is up with you? Have you lost your damn mind?” Carter jumped to his feet and balled up his fists. “I’m going home.”

  “No, I don’t think so,” Nick said, standing up. “Sit down, Carter, before I knock you down.”

  The look in Nick’s eyes was wild and menacing. Carter slowly sank back on the sofa.

  Nick sat then too, and kept taunting him. “I want you to take off your clothes for me. Consider it to be in the dream come true category. You stripping just for me—kind of a slow strip-tease. Yep, that would take care of what you owe me. That should just about do it.”

  “You can kiss my ass, Nick.”

  “Oh, I’m not ruling that out. Not at all.”

  Carter looked at him angrily. “You’re drunk!”

  “Not nearly drunk enough. No, that’s my price. You, naked. Get to it.”

  Carter got to his feet again to leave, his lips pressed tightly together. Nick grabbed his arm. “I didn’t say you could go yet.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m not asking.”

  “Carter, don’t think because I’m a little drunk…“ Nick gave him a warning look. “Don’t think because of that, I can’t beat your fucking ass. And make you like it.”

  Carter glared down at Nick, still trying to salvage this situation somehow. He was finally beginning to realize Nick was way too drunk to be reasoned with. “Nick, what the hell do you want from me?”

  “I think I’ve been clear, Carter. I want my damn money— you say you don’t have it so I’ve worked out a payment plan that involves you getting naked. Right here in my living room. Right fucking now. I think I’ve made you a reasonable offer here. Either you take your clothes off for me and we’ll consider the debt paid, or I’ll rip the damn things off you. Either way, you’re getting naked, Carter, before you leave here. Your choice—the easy way or the hard way.”

  Carter’s could feel his face flushing. He still felt uneasy but now he was beginning to get mad. “Okay, suppose I do as you ask.”

  Nick smiled. “Yes, suppose you do.”

  “I understand you want to humiliate me, and while I think it’s very childish of you, I may be willing to do it, if only to end this stupid situation. But if I do—and that’s a big if right now—if I do, then you’ll have to agree this thing is over. I won’t owe you anything and you won’t talk about this all over the college.”

  “Oh God, you haven’t changed a bit.” Nick said, laughing. “Still running that little mouth of yours and trying to talk me to death. Okay. I won’t talk about it. Done. Get your clothes off.”

  “Wait a minute—don’t rush me.” Carter ran a hand over his face. He was sweating a little. “ Why do you want me to do this? I mean, other than to humiliate me. What’s in it for you?”

  Nick laughed shortly and took another swig of tequila. “Do you own a mirror, Carter? Take your clothes off. I want to look at you.”

  Carter dropped his gaze and took a deep breath. He wanted to look at him. Was that a good thing or not? If he did this, might it lead to something else? He’d wanted a chance to talk to Nick, but there was no talking to him in his present condition. But maybe he could reach him on another level. Remind Nick of how he used to feel about him. There was a part of him that wanted Nick’s gaze on him too. Wanted to see his reaction. He knew that most of what Nick was saying was a bluff. He’d never hurt him. But maybe if he did this—if he agreed to take off his clothes—he might get Nick to notice him again. To touch him.

  “All right,” he said quietly. “Let’s do this.” He stood up to pull his shirt over his head. He went slowly, inch by inch, keeping eye contact as long as he could. Nick watched him hungrily, not saying a word, though his breathing was getting a little rough. Carter slipped off his loafers and unsnapped his jeans, pushing them down and stepping out of them. He stood with his back to Nick, wearing only his white cotton briefs. He glanced over his shoulder at Nick.

  Nick’s eyes grew narrow as he surveyed the body on display for him. He smiled slowly.

  “Tighty-whities, Carter? Really?” Nick smirked, but his trembling hands told Carter all he needed to know. He waggled a finger at him. “Get them off. Now.”

  Carter felt as if his whole body was on fire. He wasn’t ashamed of the way he looked. He took care of himself and he knew his body was lean and muscular. He was a little less tanned than he would have liked. His skin had always been very pale and resistant to the sun. Even his cock was okay, he thought, long enough and fairly thick. And he really wanted to know what Nick’s reaction to it would be. Would he like looking at Carter? Would it be as exciting as he thought it might be?

  He took a deep breath and pushed down his underwear, moving his hands to cover his crotch area. He shifted nervously from foot to foot. Nick was making him stand there far too long. “Well, do I pass inspection? Can I get dressed now?”

  “Turn around,” Nick said, his voice sounding strangely ragged and choked up.

  Carter sighed and turned around slowly.

  “Hands down at your sides.”

  “No,” he said over his shoulder, just to argue. He wanted to see what Nick would do.

  “I said, put your hands down, Carter.” When Carter still hesitated, Nick fixed him with a glittering gaze from his beautiful, sad eyes. “ Please , Carter.”

  Carter felt his heart twist. The pleading, almost hopeful note in Nick’s voice almost undid him. The trouble was he had the biggest hard on he’d probably ever had, and he really didn’t want Nick to see it. Not yet. He knew he would have plenty to say about it, and he wasn’t ready to be teased. This was too new—too fragile. He knew now that going along with this had been a very bad idea.

  “Let me see you, Carter. Please.” Nick’s voice was hoarse with emotion.

  Carter slowly dropped his hands and looked down at himself. His cock, hard and rigid, stood up from the blond curls between his legs and curved back proudly into his stomach. He watched as his body blushed pink.

  Nick was silent, though, and Carter wondered what he could be thinking. He could literally feel Nick’s gaze raking him from head to toe. Nick reached forward and put his hand on Carter’s hip, pulling him up close. Carter flinched from the touch, but Nick ignored him, then looked up
at him. “Can I…can I touch you?”

  He already was, but Carter knew what he meant. He nodded and Nick lightly grazed the length of his cock with his hand. Carter’s knees went weak.

  Nick looked up into Carter’s face again. His gaze was dark and sultry, but when Carter gazed back at him, he hooded it with his thick eyelashes quickly.

  “Carter, I...”

  Nick’s voice had become whispery and was so full of heartbreak, Carter began to tremble with sympathy and tenderness.

  “You’re so beautiful.” He raised his eyes to Carter’s with a look of longing that made his heart twist again in his chest. He raised his eyebrows in a silent question, checking for permission. His eyes were so full of need and heat that Carter felt an unmistakable curl of lust unfurl in his stomach. He took a deep breath and nodded ever so slightly.

  Nick bent to touch his lips to Carter’s abs. He licked and sucked and kissed his way downward across the muscular ridges of his abdomen. He took the length of Carter’s cock in his hand and looked up at him again. Carter was trembling, but he gave him a shy smile.

  It was Nick’s turn to tremble. He licked the head of Carter’s cock, closing his eyes and sighing as if tasting the sweetest nectar instead of pre-cum. Carter’s hips jerked and he gasped aloud.

  “Oh God, Nick,” he sighed. “Please.” He didn’t know why he was saying please, except that he needed Nick’s strength now more than ever. He put a hand on Nick’s shoulder, tentatively, almost afraid he’d shake him off.

  Nick bent his head to take the full length of him in his mouth. His tongue gave little barely-there flicks all across the back side as he moved his head up and down. Carter’s knees suddenly gave away, and he sagged down with a little cry.

  Nick immediately pulled Carter down onto his lap so that he was straddling him, and kissed him, the merest brushing of Nick’s lips over his. It felt electric, like his lips were on fire. This was the second time in Carter’s life Nick had kissed him, and he reacted the same way he did the very first time, that night outside Nick’s house. The kiss electrified him.

  His body began to tremble and his heart raced wildly. His dick, already hard, became painfully so. Nick sat back and looked at him wonderingly. He looked down at Carter’s dick and put his hand over its length.

  Suddenly Carter wanted to go home and hide. This was too intense. Too frightening in what it might mean. He wanted to run away, just like he’d done before, but Nick was holding him too tightly. Nick lowered his head again and took control of Carter’s mouth, locking onto his lips and thrusting his tongue deep inside. He swept his tongue over Carter’s, moving his hands down to cup Carter’s ass and bring him closer.

  Carter was astonished to hear himself whimper and moan deep in his throat. Their tongues were still intertwined. He could feel Nick’s hot breath on his face. Nick reached down between his legs and began to caress his balls. This time Carter moaned aloud and pushed against Nick's chest, squirming uncomfortably. He wanted to get away but he wanted to stay all at the same time. Nick grazed the tip of his penis with his hand and gave him a little nibbly kiss on his lips. “Say you want me, sweetheart. Please say it.”

  “Nick, I-I don’t know what I want. I never did. But this isn’t the way to find out—not with you too drunk to even remember it.”

  Nick was quiet for a long moment, his breathing ragged. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the couch and let him go. Carter scrambled to his feet, trembling, afraid of what he’d almost done.

  He pulled on his jeans and shirt and almost ran to the door, hearing Nick’s bitter voice behind him. “That’s right, get out of here, you little coward. Who the fuck needs you, anyway? Wouldn’t want anybody thinking you were a fucking queer now, would we?”

  Carter didn’t even turn to look at him, angrily snatching up his jacket from the chair by the door. It had been a mistake to come here. His feelings were still too confused, too emotional. Nick’s last words proved that any chance they had died a long time ago. Carter had killed them himself and there was no way to resurrect them. Nick would hate him forever for that stupid, cruel remark.

  At the door he glanced back over his shoulder, intending to say something dramatic, but what he saw stopped him cold.

  Nick still had his head back against the sofa cushions, a look of such grief and pain on his face it broke Carter’s heart. His hand was stroking his leg, trying to massage it, wincing with every stroke. Carter slowly closed the door and came back inside. He walked over to the sofa and said, “Let me help you, Nick.”

  Nick looked up at him in surprise. His eyes were full of tears. “I thought you’d gone.”

  “Please get up and go into the bedroom. I want to help if I can.”

  Nick smirked. “Don’t worry about it, Carter. I was only teasing you—just wanted to see the scared look on your pretty face.”

  “Get your butt off the sofa and get in the bedroom, I said. Now.”

  Nick looked startled, but the tone of authority in Carter’s voice must have carried through the alcoholic fog a little. He had a history of taking orders in the military, after all. He rose to his feet. Swaying, he would have fallen over had it not been for Carter’s steadying hand under his arm. It still wasn’t enough, however, and Nick stumbled as he walked down the hall, crashing into one of the walls.

  Carter caught Nick under his arms and pulled one of them around his neck. He half carried, half dragged Nick into the bedroom, lowering him onto the bed. He bent to take off his shoes and unsnapped his jeans. Nick opened one eye at this point and smiled crookedly. “Okay, if you want it that bad, I’ll see what I can do...”

  Carter muttered, “In your dreams...”

  Nick sighed. “Yes.”

  Carter stilled and looked down at him, no longer angry. He loved this man so much, and he’d hurt him once a long time ago. He didn’t want to keep hurting him.

  He pulled Nick’s pants off and then rummaged through the side table to find some lotion. He sat down then on the side of the bed and got a good look for the first time at Nick’s leg.

  The scars were bad, there was no doubt about it. Carter had to admit he felt shocked and sickened by what he saw. Not because of the appearance of the scars, but because of the pain he knew Nick must have endured.

  They were red, angry and puckered scars, stretching up to his thigh and wrapping around the back. One extended almost to his groin. It seemed to be the muscles around the wound contracting that were causing him the worst pain. As he watched, they jumped and jerked spasmodically. Nick spread lotion on his hands and began to massage these muscles, really leaning in and working them hard.

  At first Nick cried out and tried to stop his hands, but Carter pushed him back on the bed and held him down for a few minutes with one hand. Nick was big and muscular, but he was so drunk he couldn’t figure out what was holding him down or what to do about it. He finally sagged back in defeat, tears spilling down his cheeks.

  Carter really dug in then with both hands, and soon, though Nick groaned and moaned at first quite loudly, the contractions began to ease off. Nick stopped fighting him and fell asleep. In his sleep, he sighed like a tired child. Carter fought a sudden urge to lean down and kiss his soft lips. He knew then without any doubt in his mind that he was in love with Nick, had always been, even though he tried so hard to deny it. And he’d never stopped.

  The thought was shocking to him, even though he’d been living with the idea for years. Living with it, denying it, running from it until he couldn’t run any longer. He’d come to find Nick after all these years for one reason and one reason only. To face the mixed-up feelings he’d had about Nick since he was only a kid. To look them square in the face and not be afraid of them any longer.

  He knew he had to find a way back into Nick’s life, no matter what it took. Deep down, Carter knew exactly what that would be. He’d jerked Nick around too many times, and now it was time to put up or shut up.

  Carter stood over Nick for
a long time, looking down at him in the dimness of the bedroom. There was no time to begin like the present and there was no one here to see him anyway. He went back into the living room, locked the door and turned off the lights.

  Coming back into the bedroom, he stood for another moment looking down at Nick, curled up on his side in the bed, deeply asleep. Even like this, drunk and snoring, he was still really good looking. The high and tight haircut didn’t detract a bit from his beauty. In fact, if anything it enhanced the beautiful bone structure of his face.

  Carter wondered how it would be to have sex with another man. Real sexual intercourse. He knew Nick would want that from him eventually. Could he do that? Could he let Nick put his hands and his mouth and his…dick inside him? The shame of the idea hit him at the same time the excitement did and he shuddered.

  Carter took off his own clothes and climbed in bed next to Nick, lying far on the other side of the bed for a long time. Cautiously, timidly, he moved closer. Nick was sound asleep, snoring a little, totally unaware Carter shared his bed.

  Taking a deep breath, Carter spooned Nick, pulling him up close. Even the strong smell of tequila, emanating from his very pores, couldn’t take away Nick’s own unique, manly smell. A heady mixture of Nick’s sweat and cologne took Carter back to those years in high school when Nick spent the night and Carter lay awake wishing he could be as brave as Nick and just admit what he wanted.

  Nick’s big body felt warm and hard in Carter’s arms. So different from the women he’d held this way, forbidden and exciting at the same time. Nick’s body was bigger and stronger than his own. If Nick wanted to overpower Carter, to control him, he could easily do it, even wounded like he’d been. The idea again caused him to feel embarrassment, but a kind of pleasurable shiver came along with the notion of giving up control to someone bigger and stronger than he was. Especially someone he trusted with his life. It excited him at the same time it frightened him. What might Nick want to do to him?